Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My Own Skin


My husband and I were invited to a award dinner for a good friend of ours Friday night. It's not going to be a totally formal event, however it will require some pretty nice duds and it has been a loooooong time since I've purchased anything decent to wear. Normally shopping for cloths is rather traumatizing for me, because I have a lot of trouble finding things that fit me. Now I have some added bonus going on in the booty and well, this had the potential to be a very bad scene.
Well, I knew all this before I left and I said to myself  "Self, you need to be realistic. Don't expect to look 30 and thin, 'cause you're not. Don't beat the crap out of yourself every time you look in the mirror. Just do the best you can."
Guess what? It worked. I found a great outfit that I'll be able to use more than once. Plus, one of the reasons it looks so good is because of my height. How do you like that? Well, you probably don't care much, but it's a very big deal to me.
My point is, I didn't set myself up. I usually figure out I've done that way after I've had a giant hissy fit.
 My looks have changed so much in the last few years that it's been a difficult thing to get through too. I mean 50 doesn't look like 30 unless your really working on it or you're a movie star.
Learning to let go of all the bullshit I tell myself has been quite a process. It's a relief and a comfort to just be. Be in my own skin, wrinkles and all, extra bootyliciousness and all. I may not look like a movie star to anyone else, but I think I felt like one tonight and I'm excited to get all dressed up and go out to cheer for my friend.

15 comments:

clean and crazy said...

i am so there girl, and i am thirty something and 225!!
so it is either go to the sporting goods section to look for the closest tent that will fit over me or just wear t-shirts. i found a lovely little store called fashion bug, they have an online store as well and they have a fashion bug plus, where all the clothes are big enough for me!! and the best part is they do not charge 2 bucks extra for plus sizes, their big sizes are the same prices as the regular sizes and they range from conservative to moderate. i love going there and trying on clothes, something totally foreign for me and i don't need to go to the men's department for jeans, they have what fits, and when clothes fit right they look good!!
i am still going to the gym and working on a diet, but at least now i don't have to wear his clothes any more, i can look pretty too!! i am so glad you found something!!

Barbara aka Layla said...

AMEN! I love everything you said here. I relate to the shopping thing and the 30 vs 50 thing and am finally happy to be healthy with a bit extra padding....I am glad you found such a great outfit and hope you have a wonderful evening!

the walking man said...

What the hell you talking about? You made the cover of Vogue. A bit retro for my tastes but you look fine.

Patty said...

And here is cheer for you, jENN! Rah, rah, rah!!!

Shadow said...

i'm so glad you found a perfect outfit. amazing what expectations can do. or rather, the lack thereof...

Joni aka Jett said...

I hope you have fun at the event! In the rare occasion that I ever get dressed up, I always feel so "out of my own skin." But it's a fun change once in a while.
No, I'm not British but I do wish I had a dad like the biker in the photo! ;-D

Syd said...

I think that you will look great because you feel great inside. That is what is so amazing. I can see the 20-30 somethings and see that their outsides are great but maybe they aren't happy really. And then there are those, no matter what the age, whose inner beauty makes their outer beauty even better. That is really nothing that anyone can purchase.

Lou said...

There is something to be said for looking your age...and there is something to said for NOT looking your age.

It's a free country, so take your pick;)

I like to dress up, glad you got a kick out of it too!

~ Tabitha ~ said...

I hope you don't put those new spiffy clothes away too soon,Jenn.
Maybe you and the hubster can make a special night out every couple of months were you dress up a little extra..the opera,a play or nice dinner? Sometimes it's nice just to dress up at home for a special occasion.Your beauty shines through your sharing,Jenn.
Honeslty,non of us have perfect bodies.even the magazine models are airbrushed to look perfect.
We do need to take care though,to ensure our healthy and longevity,but we don't have to compare our booties-only bump them together as we boogie like the fun blogger buddies we all are - who incidently,like one another regardless of our looks ;)

Inspiring post my friend !

G-Man said...

I wanna see it on you!!!

Or at least a 55 tomorrow...

Tall Kay said...

I sooo understand the shopping for clothes dread. I still have to take someone with me...I swear they make those mirrors in the dressing rooms so we appear thinner, shorter, younger!

I'm sure you were the Belle of the Ball! Your beauty is even shining through your words!

Enchanted Oak said...

I really liked the bootalicious part. I want to see a photo of it on. Please send me one. I think God was in that shop with you and He wanted to bless His daughter with the wonderful outside that He knows is inside too. I am not sh*ting you. I want a pic. Love, you, Sister.

Pam said...

No, 50 doesn't look like 30 and quite frankly that pisses me off. I love the times when I just look in the mirror and I'm "alright" with the whole "me". I just wish those times weren't so fleeting.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Hell I'm 41, fat and tall, shopping for clothes not great, although I love fashion, sadly our culture has harmed us...your post is positive and I thank you from my heart as it's message is clear and one I needed to hear...thank you Jenn.

I hope your event is great and hope you post a pic!

xo G

Cat said...

This post, reminded me of something I thought about myself last month... you know when you talk to yourself and you say something pretty smart? I remember thinking or ssaying to myself, something along the lines of :

Be as reasonable with yourself as you allow others to be...

Ya sometimes I suprise myself!