Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I just watched the 32nd Kennedy Center Honors, (yes, we finally have TV). One of the great artist's of my generation, Bruce Springsteen was one of the five recipients. I just happened to catch it, I had no idea he had won. I was so happy to see it. I think it is an amazing thing to be able to observe someone who is obviously doing what he came to this earth to do. I felt proud that I have lived through the whole history that Bruce speaks of in his songs. I feel like one of the people he speaks of in his songs.
I am proud to be an all American girl, born in the USA. I have a bandanna as a common part of my wardrobe, I wear Levis and leather, and I ride a Harley Davidson. Bruce's music has woven through the background of my life since I was in high school. He writes songs for us blue collar folks. He writes songs I can understand.
I believe if a person is expressing from his soul than we can all understand him. I hope that I am always aware enough to recognize someone who is.


Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas Prayers

Well I made it. I managed to get through Christmas without the overwhelming sadness of the past two Christmas's without Annie.
I had planned to use this new blog to only talk about things that make me happy, or things that make me feel good. I'm not sure what you  would call this. I do know it's not grief anymore and that's a good thing. There have been moments that I have felt sad, but it wasn't grief.
Today I took the tree down. I always take my tree down right away because Annie's birthday is January 3rd and  now it's a habit to make the shift into birthday mode for her. Putting up and taking down the tree is hard. Every single ornament has an attachment to a life that is gone now. They're symbolic of something that is simply gone.
This year I thought about how I made Christmas every year. How I decorated, baked, cooked, entertained and cared for everyone in my family and life for Annie's whole life. I tried my very best to be that person again this year for what has become a very small group. It's ok. For two years I couldn't do much else but cry.
I'm not sure what this new part of my life will bring. I wonder if I'll ever be like I was before. I don't see how I could. Some things change you. Some things change you so much that you can't identify who you are now.
I prayed a lot this year. I prayed to be less jaded. I prayed to see the good in people. I prayed not to analize everyone and everything for "dysfunction". This included me more than anyone. I prayed that I would not talk to my husband about my feelings because he needed to feel happy and not take care of me like he always does.
I did enjoy our grandson. I mostly enjoyed my husband enjoying our grandson . Love pours out of my husband in huge palpable waves. He's such a wonderful man. I would like to be like him.
I don't know what other people feel like who have lost a child. I know that it makes me feel alone much of the time. I know a three year old will stop you from thinking about anything and bring you into the moment, which is where God is.
I think that's what I miss about Annie more than anything. Her illness stripped time down to a place that was truth. We lived in moments, because you never knew what the next would bring.
I hope that now that my grief has subsided that I can take that experience with me and use it for everyone and everything. It's all there is really, it's just that most of the time we're too lost in thought to know it. I pray I know it more.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Love

I hope everyone is having a great holiday so far. Much Christmas love sent out to all of you!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

You Might be a Frozen Redneck if...

You might be a redneck if you spend the Saturday before Christmas checking the thickness of the ice for fishing. Yup, That's what I did with my hubby today. It's c-c-c-c-cold! Tall Karen said she wanted to see some white stuff, so in honor of her and our blogger buddy Syd, heres some pictures of my day.

Guess what,I'm not going with him.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Deptford pink

I don't have a lot to say here lately. So I thought I'd share the latest photo I'm using as wall paper.It was 3 degrees yesterday so I put this up. I took this last summer at a large pond near us. You can read about this wildflower here.

Right about the same time I took this one.

It makes me laugh.

Hope all of you are having a great holiday so far.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Honest Things

Chris over at Enchanted Oak gave me this blog award  today and I'm supposed to tell you 7 honest things about myself.  I really like this particular award because it has easy, uncomplicated rules, you just tell 7 honest things, and pass it on to one person. Nice. Thank you Chris. I love her blog so much. her poetry rocks and so does she, so it means a lot to me when somebody like her, likes me. Very cool. Anyway, here goes;

  1. I never thought that I would like being a grandma. I've never been much of a kid person. I'm bitchy and have no patience with kids, but my grandson has melted my frozen heart. He is an easy going little dude most of the time and I am always totally surprised when he wants to hang out with me. 
  2. I love Christmas music, especially the classic stuff by Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Burl Ives, Jimmy Durante, you know what I mean.
  3. I can't wait to see our grandson's face when he see's the big Thomas the Train table my husband made and I'm painting for him. What's the deal with this Thomas stuff? I don't get it, but he's only 3 and looses his mind over trains. ( it's a guy thing I guess)
  4. I miss Annie.
  5.  I don't like it when I get mean anonymous comments on posts. If you are too chicken to let me know who you are then keep your comments to yourself, just sayin'.
  6. I had a pet pig named Samantha when I was a kid. I had her trained to do tricks and she was kind of like a dog to me. We would hang out and listen to a transistor radio together a lot. Once she fell in the pool and was in there for so long before she was discovered she had rubbed the hair under her chin off from her hooves while swimming. My dad butchered her for meat but they never told me. They just told me they sold her at auction. Living on a farm made you kinda tough with animals coming and going so to speak.
  7. My dad looked just like one of the muppets who heckled in the balcony on The Muppet Show. He loved that show.
So there you are Chris. Thanks again. now I'd like to pass this along to Gretchen at g-log who always posts her paintings and always has something good to share. I think she could you some company from all you crazy folks who follow my blog for some odd reason! Well, maybe not you crazy ones.... 

Friday, December 11, 2009

Flash 55 Birthday Boy!

You've got me thinking
Of birthdays past,
How each has come and gone
We all know now
The bond will last
And Flash 55 will go on

And even though
You've had it rough,
A week you won't forget

You've told the tale
With a hurtin' tail
That hasn't beat you yet!
Happy Birthday G-Man!

Try a flash 55 and  report to the G-Man and wish him a Happy Birthday while you're at it. He's old, he needs something to be happy about.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


I was going along
Living along

We were in charge
We were the ones
We were the girls breaking the rules
The one's the songs were about
The one's with the cloths
The ones who drove the cars
Bought the stuff
Wore the shoes

I had some shoes

Coasting, holding on, making noise
And then talking about our kids

Then they had the shoes
  and a cell phone
They're working out for the ten year reunion

Now I am invisible
and I don't wear shoes

Saturday, December 5, 2009

No Autographs, Please

 I think it's hilarious that after not being on the blogs for several days, the very first post I read was from our blogger friend Lou giving out here lovely award to all of us. Having a large, magnanimous ego, I of course graciously accept this award and will tell you all about my brushes with fame.

  1. When I was in first grade, Bobby Kennedy stopped at my Catholic grade school while he was campaigning in NY Sate and I shook his hand.
  2. I waited on Whoopi Goldberg when I lived in Charlotte NC. She was there filming "The Color Purple" at the time and came into the restaurant I was working in. She tipped me $50.
  3. I met Jimmy Buffet at a bar in Key West and didn't know who he was. we were hanging out drinking beer.
  4. I met his wife much later in rehab.
  5. I met Rob Lowe at the same rehab.
  6. I walked past the filming of a scene of "Miami Vice" in the airport in Miami. Annie and I had just arrived to move to Key Largo with two of my sisters. 
  7.   New York State Senator Tom Libous had his picture taken on a chopper my husband built at our local business show a few years ago. ( I met him a few times actually and wasn't impressed really, but you might be!)
  8. I was on "The Today Show" at that same time for a piece that featured my friend's restaurant that was in an old jail he redid. We had Jail House Choppers in the basement and sat at the tables while they were filming  about the restaurant.
That's all I can think of tonight, There's probably more, because really, I am so cool, but I'm tired. you know, I just don't understand way anyone hasn't asked for MY autograph.

I encourage anyone to accept this award also and share with us your own brushes with fame.

Also, I apologize for missing blogs and will catch up as best I can. I've been enjoying our grandson and holiday "stuff".